IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample 28 - The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years

IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You should write at least 250 words.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Model Answer 1: (Agreement)
Over the last twenty years, the women empowerment and employment have gone through rapid changes and more women are working in the different sphere of society than ever. This is, in fact, advantageous for the overall growth a country and at the same time this is one of the main reasons the juvenile delinquency has increased nowadays.

First of all, a child needs the tenderness and guidance of parents and if both parents are working they have very little time to spend with the children. The trends of both working parents are leading depression, lack of morality and lose family tie which has severe psychological damage among the teenagers. This is directly leading to issues like crime, drug and immoral activities conducted by the adolescents.   

Again, this is a long time trend that a father would bring the daily bread for the family while mother would foster and take care of the children in most of the society and with the women empowerment, this harmony has been changed. There is no harm in women employment and in fact this is positive from many perspectives and yet we can see an immense competition among the married couple especially regarding their career while they totally overlook their needs for their children. Fatherhood is important and he has many roles to play for the children but a mother, as we have seen throughout the century, makes the major share of contribution towards upbringing the children. When a mother has very little time to share with her kids, the problem related to juvenile crime increases.

The teenage time is a very sensitive time in everyone’s life and if parents can’t contribute their duties at that time, the children have a chance to go astray. With working mothers, this is happening more than ever.

(This model answer has been prepared by the site developer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible answers.)

Model Answer 2: (Disagreement)
It is certainly true that the position of women in society has undergone a dramatic change in the past twenty years but I do not feel that this is a direct cause of the indisputable increase in juvenile-related problems during this period.

It is now accepted that young women should find work on leaving school; indeed to rely totally on their parents' financial support is no longer an option for many families. Likewise, once they get married, the majority of women continue working since the financial pressures of setting up a house and establishing a reasonable standard of living often require two incomes.

Twenty years ago it was common for women to give up work once they had children and devote their time to caring for their children. This is no longer the general rule and the provision of professionally-run child care facilities and day nurseries have removed much of the responsibility for child-rearing that used to fall to mothers. However, these facilities come at a cost and often require two salaries coming into a family to be afforded.

I do not believe that the increase in the number of working mothers has resulted in children being brought up less well than previously. Indeed it could be argued that by giving mothers the opportunity to work and earn extra money children can be better provided for than previously. There is more money for luxuries and holidays and a more secure family life is possible. Of course, there are limits as to the amount of time that ideally should be spent away from home and the ideal scenario would be for one of the parents (often the wife) to have a part-time job and thus be available for their children before and after school. It is important to establish the correct balance between family life and working life.

(Approximately 308 words)
(This model answer has been prepared by the site developer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible answers.)

Model Answer 3: (Mixed Opinion)
The issue whether 'married women should work or should stay at home to care their children' is always a disputable issue. Strong arguments are present from both the sides and let us discuss in a detailed way.

Firstly, married women should work to get financial independence and her income helps the family too. Nowadays, expenses are increasing day by day and this extra income definitely helps the family to overcome the expenses. I observed that the families who are having two salaries always can afford the better education for their children can have a better lifestyle, and can plan better savings. Everybody is aware that currently many women got a good education and gained skills which are required for the industry. So married women should go the work and utilise their skill which helps to the Society.

There is always an opposite side of a coin. Married women have more responsibility for their children. Children are connected more to their mothers, so mothers should take care of children. Mothers should teach children about society, need of education. If married women become busy with the work, children future will become uncertain. I observed some children are grown in a systematic way who are taken care by a mother.

In Conclusion, I prefer married women should work as well as concentrate on children career. They should balance their work and personal life. Male too needs to help women in children's care.

(Approximately 231 words)
(Written by - Jacob)

Model Answer 4:
It is believed that the role of women in the family and in the community has changed significantly in the past two decades. Although some people have called it a positive development, others think that it has caused some serious problems for children, since they have less attention from their mothers who are mostly working. To a certain extent, I would agree with the statement, but I think it will depend on the individuals themselves on how they manage their time.

On the one hand, it is true that as a career woman, women have less time for their children. They have to leave home early in the morning, while their children are still sleeping in their bed and arrive back at night when the children will have been asleep. As a result, they have little time for their family and children are left at home alone. They become depress or stress due to the lack of attentions from their mothers and lead them in doing some negative things to attract their mother's attention, such as using drugs or involve in crime activities.

On the other hand, some working women have successfully balanced between their professional and personal time. They have learned to work in the most efficient and effective ways and managed their priority well.  Therefore they would not have to spend such a long hours at work and could give more time for their children. Consequently, the children would not be feeling abandoned or neglected, while the mothers could continue with their work.

In conclusion, it is a fact that many women have become working women these days, and some people think that the trend has cause some problems for the children. To a certain level, I would agree that the rising number of working women could cause some problems for the family, as I think it depends on the person themselves. If they could manage their schedule and priority well, I think they could be successful working women and housewives as well.

(Approximately 334 words)
(Written by - Darwin Lesmana)

Model Answer 5:
From the past until the last century, the vast majority of women stayed at home to look after their children and only a very small percentage of them had to work or do any outdoor activity in many countries. However, this custom had changed in the last 20 years and many women now go to work, run their shops or businesses or even work as managers in some multinational companies. Of course, this significant change has had good and bad impacts on everyday life. From my point of view, the disadvantages of this trend surpass the advantages it offers. Actually, this issue has to be discussed delicately.

When the mother leaves her house, she has two choices: the first is to leave her house and children without care, and that of course is unacceptable. The other choice, and it's not better than the first one, is to get someone to looks after her children and do the housework.

There are some reasons that may lead women to work, but the main reason is that: most married women who are employed or have their own business, need money to live an acceptable life. In my opinion, this is the husbands' responsibility and they shouldn't involve their wives in the task because this eventually leads to tragic consequences. Their children don’t get enough care and time with parents and that lead in the long term disorder in the society.

From the psychological point of view, if the children don’t get enough care during the childhood, they may not be able to interact properly with people around them. Some people claim that "preventing women from work and not letting them earning money is a type of injustice "; but I don't think so. When a mother prevents her child from getting her care and affections, this is the injustice.

(Approximately 306 words)

(Written by - A. Hassan)

Model Answer 6:
In the present age, it is an undeniable fact that the women's role and position in the society all over the world, including in Indonesia, have much modified, especially in the past two decades that this situation persuades women to have a certain career. The changes of these have become a sparked debate throughout the world. There are a growing number of people claim that career-conscious women will lead to a wide range of juvenile delinquencies, while others argue that women who have a certain career bring many benefits for their children. This essay will discuss the supporters and opponents of this view.

To begin with, once upon a time, the traditional perception made a restriction for the woman to get a certain role in the society. Some parents argued that their daughter had to marry as soon as possible when she is already 17 years old. Furthermore, after getting married, a woman should not abandon their family. Nowadays, many women are struggling against their competitors “men” to achieve an ideal top position in a corporation.  From my view, these people fail to realise that after getting the job, they have to leave their home and children because of a lot of agendas of meeting and visiting the company. According to physiologists point of view, this will lead to juvenile delinquencies because children need caring and good upbringing from their parents, especially from the mother.

In contrast, a working mother can help their children’s academic performance because they will be able to afford particular materials by buying them from the store.  Some people claim that successful children in terms of academic performance depend on their study materials that they use in their daily life. Apart from that, children can expand their experience and insights by roaming many countries without any distraction of financial problems. If these children can combine both actual knowledge and book-oriented knowledge, I completely believe that they have a wide range of insights and knowledge which will be helpful in further lives.

In conclusion, each side of position has benefits and drawbacks. From my point of view, if working women can make time for their children, it will better for their children’s lives in the future.

(Approximately 306 words)

(Written by -  Ach Maulidi)

Model Answer 7: (Disagreement)
At recent years, women have been extending their role in many aspects throughout the world. However, some believe that still, the gender equality is a severe problem which we should overcome for the overall development of a country. Throughout this essay, as my notion leads to, I will give several considerations as I disagree with the previous opinion.

Women have taken parts in all over the world and in enormous fields of society. In politics, there is massive growth in the number of women becoming ministers, the member of councils, even the governors and majors, and this happens exactly as an example in Indonesia (one of developing countries). Women also are free to contribute in social empowerment movement without hesitating caused by their marriage partner because a husband starts to consider this as an achievement in family's name. They also can work as breadwinners instead of being household wife staying at home, so they can improve their capabilities in certain work fields and career opportunities. As a result, the equality gender is close to being solved especially in a quantitative approach.

However, inevitably, physical and sexual harassments among women are in dire amount as well as the insufficient educational background. To overcome this, outrageous problem solving have been designed such as the appropriate effort of particular Non-Government Organisations which have collected the funding to provide socialisations and technologies to solve physical and sexual harassments such as the using of phones and internet. Universities together with supervisors and the fields of research have been opening chances for women to get involved in several majors and research projects as well as the focus of research in empowering women.

To sum up, even though there are weaknesses in a few aspects, equality gender has been solved in a maximum way and I suggest that efforts to deal with the women empowerment should be continued constantly.

(Approximately 308 words)

(Written by - Angga Cool)

Model Answer 8:
Undoubtedly, a variety of social and professional positions are now occupied by women than ever before. However, being a contentious issue among many, whether or not this revolution has been leading to expanding brutal manners of the young, is not easy to respond. I personally somewhat concur that some other crucial factors could be placed more premium, ranging from the pressure of the peers and unwelcome friends to the upbringing responsibilities shouldered by fathers.

Firstly, it would be wrong to profess that parents’ spending time with their offspring could thoroughly prevent the negative aspects of the friendship of them. As a case in point, one acquaintance of mine claimed that despite his householder mother attempted to make an in demand friendship with him, he possesses some savage etiquette, particularly against girls due to the influence of his friends. This shows that the length of the time mothers spend with their children could not guarantee the social health of their descendants. In contrast, it seems the quality of relations between parents and kids plays a pivotal role in depriving tendency of children to crime.

Furthermore, the responsibilities of fathers concerning fostering descendants should not be ignored. To illustrate, in some communities, thanks to the improvement of knowledge in all fields, the novel methods of bringing up children emphasise on the equal quota of mothers and fathers alike for affecting their kids, in particular in terms of social behaviour. The more each of parents could cover their own duties of paying effective attention to children, the more assurance they could achieve concerning having competent children away from any abnormal treatment.

By way of conclusion, although mothers being beside their descendants for a long time a day could shape a great deal of children’s personality, they could not assure that the juvenile does not tend to any violence behaviour. Since the pressure of friends and also the equal responsibilities of fathers are some practical factors which considerably affect the social treatment of the young.

(Approximately 328 words)

(Written by -  Behzad Babaei)


1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Rating 4.25 (8 Votes)


-1 # Alia khan 2015-06-23 18:20
I think these essays lack examples as it is clearly written on the question.
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0 # Aaditya Sonawane 2016-09-15 17:46
Well said, Alia. I totally agree with you as there should be proper sets of examples to justify the statements.
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