IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample 461 - Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Sample Answer 1:
It appears that the youth crime rate in the modern world is increasing at an alarming rate. Although there may be many factors causing this issue, it is perceivable that the absence of suitable education provided by parents and teachers are the major problems behind this circumstance. This position will thus be analysed in the following paragraphs, supported by relevant examples.

Firstly, parents' increasing occupational commitments have limited their opportunities to educate children on moral qualities. The current economic condition of the contemporary society requires parents to spend more time at work. This has consequently created fewer interactions between children and parents, precluding youngsters from learning basic emotional aspects such as love and affection from adults. An exemplary case can be seen from my cousin, who barely gets a chance to learn about a specific manner to talk to strangers or elderly people. Hence, it seems that such reality has disabled him to possess an ethical mindset, which might case behavioural problems outside home in the future.

Secondly, the modern education system enforces students to obtain tangible achievements, rather than ethical perspectives. For instance, there was a girl in my high school who performed well academically. Although she frequently offended other classmates' feelings with foul words, she was continuously favoured by teachers because of her good grades. It is personally felt that such an inappropriate teaching motives of the teachers have left many students to focus on achieving material accomplishments, regardless of how badly one behaves.

In conclusion, the two aforementioned ideas clearly encapsulate how the lack of solid and ethical supervisions by adults leaves children to develop problematic thoughts and behaviour.

[ by - Aqeela]

Sample Answer 2:
The 21st century has witnessed a sudden and consistent surge of criminal offences including physical, social and cyber-crimes by people, especially by youngsters who are under the age of 18 years. This incidence is not attributed to a particular gender or religion and this is undoubtedly alarming for the social harmony across the globe.

Many people, social activists including psychologists suggest that, these behavioral tragedies happen due to the lack of attention to the children from their parents and teachers. In my opinion, though the above said context is true and significant, there are obviously a number of other reasons contributing to it.

Nowadays, people have hectic lifestyle that they are engaged mostly to professional life and hence there is little room for family life and recreation. Compared to ancient days, family get together and involvement among family members are often seen rarely. Therefore children who are students, normally enjoy their freedom than they deserve and they are not given enough counselling in order to make them able to choose what's best for them. Teachers are also majorly looking at the academic performances rather than social and emotional development.

On the other hand, there are so many other factors which could actually made the scenario worse. The use of cyber world, the addiction to online social media are arguably some of them. This enables pupils to experiment new things which were normally entitled to only adolescents in the early generation. Students and youngsters are also being influenced by the violent games and negative role plays in the movies. Moreover, the availability of drugs and narcotic materials have made the situation dangerous. For example, reports suggest that in India, the use of euphoric substances such as Marijuana has inclined leading to the rise in number of registered police cases. The lack of education to parents regarding all these topics are also a contributing factor.

In a nutshell. I certainly believe that day by day more youngsters are engaged in anti-social activities and this can only be prevented by a systematic approach by both parents and by the governments.

[ by - Anoop Veliyath ]

Sample Answer 3:
In the prevailing scenario, crimes are drastically increased all over the world, this is due to people valued for money rather than the values and relations. According to me, youngsters are not getting enough support from their parents as well as from the teachers, whereas some adolescents attracted to the bad habits through their friends.

To begin with, in this contemporary world, both the parents need to work to get an economical status in the society. So, they don't have time to check and teach their kids how to behave in the society. For instance, in the US, most of the people are doing jobs by leaving their children in the baby care centres and they don't have time to spend with them. Because of that absurd behaviours can be observed among teens and they don't understand the moral values.

Moreover, teachers’ role is very important in a child's life. They are the key persons in building a society. But nowadays, they are merely teaching the subjects like Mathematics, science and languages. They have to teach not only academic lessons which are useful for the future career of students but also the social and emotional qualities need to improve in a child. For example, in the developed countries, children are not respecting their teachers. I recently read news article about a child; the child went to school with a gun and shoot couple of his classmates and a teacher and then he Shoot himself and died.

However, adolescents also are getting attracted to their friends without any knowledge of the moral values. They don't understand what is right and what is wrong. So, they are getting addicted to bad habits like drugs, smoking and spoiling their lives. In fact, during my secondary education, a person had a habit of smoking, and he encouraged other persons and some people learnt that habit. Some times without their knowledge they get addicted to other people's bad habits.

In conclusion, children need to get an emotional bond with the parents. In my opinion, grownups should have the social values from their parents and teachers, however, sometimes, they need to know on their own to make decisions.

[ Written by - Navya Karnati ]

Sample Answer 4:
Today’s society has been pressured into resolving numerous tough and sensitive issues that have become stronger and negatively affected to all people, especially the young generations who are living in the information and digital age without necessary control and permissions from their parents and teachers. It’s undeniable that families and schools play paramount roles in children development in their personalities and psychology, which forces the under 18-year-old to walk on the criminal road unless having it. Nevertheless, a host of considerable reasons in relation to the constantly changing society, technology and education system is also regarded as the big contribution to the climb in young criminals.

Family is commonly considered as the most influential element on how a child is nourished and able to develop his characteristics in the future. However, there are more and more unexpectedly detrimental factors including parents-related relationship problems, unbeatably attractive modern gadgets and the hustle and bustle of the 21st century lifestyles, which results in parents’ less concentration and proper education on their children.

Additionally, the significantly increasing pressure on exam results stemming from the peers and the teachers at schools has been occupying most of attention rather than emotional and psychological cares for the students. Children under the age of 18 in this century are really facing a wide variety of social and emotional problems than their early counterparts, but it seems that they are standing alone against to most of the negative impacts from the exam-oriented education system, the serious lack of teachers’ instructions and orientation on personal development.

In conclusion, the rapid advancements of technology, the continuously changing living styles and the education systems discouraging individual and moral development together with deficiency in parents’ and teachers’ social and emotional teaching have been becoming some of the most concerned causes which lead the youngsters to be more violent and become criminals in the near future.

[ Written by - Đỗ Thị Hồng Nhung ]

Sample Answer 5:
Brutal crimes committed by the young people are in rise today and this is a very concerning issue for many. The recent statistic and expert-opinions indicate that the increased juvenile crime rate is rooted in the lack of their social and moral learning and lack of proper teaching, training from the parents and teachers. In this essay I will express my opinion in agreement as I believe that social and emotional learning in childhood from family and schools are not efficient these days.  

Obviously, living cost is rapidly increasing and both the parents are working outside to earn their daily bread. As a result children are unattended for a long time. In addition, parents, for instance, are tired after their hectic work day and bush with their own business. So children hardly get time to interact with their parents. Emotional bonding between the children and parents has become weaker and number of divorced father or mother is increasing drastically. Moreover, nowadays children are busy with the latest technological devices and thus become less active socially. Most of the parents are busy with their own career and do not restrict the usage of computers and internets. They in many cases do not observe what their children are doing. Furthermore, adolescent age is a crucial period and lack of parental care and support may lead to antisocial behaviour. Lessons and moral values learned in the childhood impact someone’s adulthood and thus the lack of proper parenting lead them to become criminals in even early ages. The children get involved in drugs, crimes and other unlawful activities due to their lack of parental guidelines, sensitive age, depression and bad lifestyle.  

Furthermore, teachers are often considered as the best mentors for students and their lack of attention, responsibility and quality as teachers often ruin the students. Unfortunately, in this competitive world school curriculum do not consider students aptitude and restrain them within a tight academic schedule. As a result teenagers easily get distracted from the subject and may turn to be violence person. Secondly, teachers in the past not only focused on the students’ academic learning but also to their moral side. But nowadays, educating the moral side is the least priority with the intention of business in schools. Thus the teenagers are not learning from a mentor but from someone whose main intention is to earn money and save the job.

In conclusion, it is clear that today's paradigm shift in family and school environment is responsible for increased crime rate among the teenagers. Both the parents and the teachers should pay proper attention to the children and should become ideal people from whom children will learn the morality and values of life.

[ Written by - Kavery ]

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Rating 4.00 (4 Votes)

Comments   

0 # Tamoor 2016-08-18 20:04
Good writing. Thanks for helping me.
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote
0 # Tamoor 2016-08-18 20:03
IELTS
Reply | Reply with quote | Quote

Add comment


Security code
Refresh