IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer (band score 8-9)

IELTS Essay # 1509 - Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay:

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages.

Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.



Model Answer 1: [Argument: advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages]

The peer group tends to exert influence on the way teenagers behave. While many believe that the influence of peers is immensely important, others opine that it has its obvious drawbacks. I believe that the benefits peer pressure brings outweigh the disadvantages because it can instil a positive attitude towards education, despite the primary drawback, namely substance use, or so on it may cause.

Without any doubt, the influence of peers can inspire young people to build positive behaviours, make good choices, and strive for academic excellence. When friends place emphasis on education and academic performance, it can exert a positive impact on the young’s attitude toward learning. In fact, students who maintain a friend circle who are diligent students may feel a strong motivation to study diligently. Take my brother’s case for example. He works harder to obtain good marks in exams because his friends are determined to achieve academic excellence. They possess a solid work ethic, and now so does he.

However, peer pressure can also exert influence on young people to engage in deviant behaviours. It may make young adults feel obliged to take on bad habits like substance abuse to feel like they are part of the circle and not levelled as boring or weak. For example, if a group of friends get involved in substance abuse, underage drinking, and delinquent activities, a child may feel obligated to conform to these behaviours to avoid exclusion.

Considering all these, I would like to mention that there is no concrete evidence to endorse the view that peer pressure is the primary reason for unacceptable behaviours and substance abuse. There are other factors, like genetics, mental health issues, and social influences, that play a profound role in this case.

To reiterate, the fact that peer pressure can encourage to conform to a positive attitude toward learning clearly outweighs the flawed argument that it can influence young people to develop delinquent behaviour and bad habits.


 

Model Answer 2: [Argument: disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages]

The debate surrounding peer pressure often hinges on whether its advantages outweigh its disadvantages or if it is the opposite. While peer pressure can sometimes encourage positive behaviours and foster social connections, I believe its drawbacks are significant and can have long-lasting consequences.

On the one hand, proponents of peer pressure argue that it can motivate individuals to adopt healthy habits, such as regular exercise, academic diligence, and community involvement. Positive peer pressure can serve as a source of encouragement, support, and accountability, leading to personal growth and self-improvement. For example, a teenager may be more likely to participate in volunteer work if their friends are also involved, leading to a greater sense of civic responsibility and altruism.

However, the disadvantages of peer pressure often outweigh these benefits. Negative peer pressure can lead individuals to engage in risky behaviours, such as substance abuse, reckless driving, and delinquent activities, in order to fit in or gain acceptance from their peers. The desire to conform to social norms and avoid rejection can override rational decision-making and moral judgment, leading to harmful consequences for both individuals and society. For instance, adolescents may experiment with drugs or alcohol due to peer pressure, resulting in addiction, legal troubles, and impaired cognitive function. Moreover, peer pressure can contribute to the perpetuation of harmful stereotypes, discrimination, and bullying within peer groups. Individuals who deviate from social norms or express dissenting opinions may face ostracism, ridicule, or even physical violence from their peers, leading to feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and mental health issues.

In conclusion, while peer pressure can sometimes promote positive behaviours and social connections, its disadvantages far outweigh any potential benefits. The potential for harmful behaviours, the stifling of individuality, and the negative impact on mental well-being make peer pressure a largely detrimental force, especially for younger individuals.



Idea Generation for This IELTS Essay:

Essay Type: Advantages and disadvantages Essay.

The main questions of this IELTS Essay:

Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
 

Advantages of peer pressure:

Encourages personal growth:
Peer pressure can motivate individuals to push beyond their comfort zones and take on new challenges. When surrounded by peers who encourage healthy habits or career-driven goals, individuals are more likely to take positive actions towards self-improvement. For example, friends may encourage each other to study for exams or join fitness programs that lead to overall personal growth.

Promotes social cohesion:
Peer pressure can help people fit into groups, fostering a sense of belonging and social cohesion. When individuals conform to the norms and expectations of their peer group, it strengthens the collective bond and creates unity. For example, teenagers often feel the need to follow group trends in fashion or entertainment to fit in with their friends.

Encourages positive behaviours:
Peer groups can have a positive influence by encouraging behaviours such as studying, exercising, or participating in community service. When individuals feel the pressure to live up to positive standards set by their peers, it can lead to beneficial habits. For example, students in study groups may motivate each other to focus and complete assignments on time.

Increases motivation to succeed:
Peer pressure can act as a motivational force that encourages individuals to strive for success. When peers excel in areas such as academics, sports, or career goals, others may feel inspired to perform similarly. For example, seeing a friend succeed in getting a job can push someone to work harder and improve their own career prospects.

Helps build confidence:
Positive peer pressure can help individuals develop self-confidence and assertiveness. Encouragement from others can make individuals feel capable of achieving goals and overcoming challenges. For example, peers may provide emotional support during difficult times, helping someone build resilience.
 

Disadvantages of peer pressure:

Can lead to harmful behaviours:
Peer pressure often leads to negative consequences, especially when individuals are influenced to engage in risky or unhealthy behaviours. For example, young people might be pressured into smoking, drinking, or taking part in dangerous activities just to fit in with a group. For example, peer pressure to engage in risky behaviour can result in legal trouble or harm to one's health.

Encourages conformity over individuality:
Excessive peer pressure can stifle personal expression and lead individuals to conform to societal norms, even when they contradict their own values. This reduces creativity and individuality. For example, teenagers may suppress their interest in unique hobbies or career paths because of the desire to fit into their peer group's expectations.

Can damage self-esteem:
When individuals feel they cannot live up to the expectations of their peers, it can negatively affect their self-esteem and mental health. Constant pressure to meet group standards can create anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. For example, someone might feel insecure about their appearance or performance in social situations due to peer pressure.

Fosters unhealthy competition:
Peer pressure often encourages competition instead of collaboration, leading to feelings of jealousy or resentment within groups. This unhealthy rivalry can result in a toxic environment. For example, in workplaces, peer pressure to outperform others can lead to burnout or stress rather than mutual support.

May reinforce negative stereotypes:
Peer pressure can perpetuate harmful stereotypes, especially when it encourages individuals to conform to narrow and unrealistic standards of behaviour or appearance. This can further entrench societal divisions and prejudice. For example, media-driven peer pressure can create unrealistic beauty standards that affect self-image.

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Mohamed Antar Ahmed Arbab
Thank you for your efforts.