IELTS graph 297 - Honey production and honey producing colonies - America

IELTS Academic Writing Task 1/ Graph Writing - Bar Chart /Column Graph:

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar charts below provide information about honey production and honey producing colonies in the five American states in 2006.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

Honey producing colonies in the five American states

Honey production in million pounds in the five American states

Model Answer 1:

The bar chart provides data regarding the number of bee colonies in five American states in 2006. The data further compares the capacity of honey production of the same colonies in millions of pounds.

Overall, North Dakota came at the top of the list as the highest honey-producing state, as well as having the largest number of bee colonies. On the other hand, Wisconsin was the lowest honey producer and had the least number of bee colonies among all five states.

According to the data, in 2006, 350 thousand bee colonies were recorded in North Dakota. Consequently, most of the honey came from this state, more than 25 million pounds. Surprisingly, South Dakota’s honey production was significantly low (roughly 10 million pounds) even though this state hosted the second-highest bee colonies, approximately 225 thousand.

Montana, which had approximately 130 thousands of bee provinces, was slightly higher than that of Minnesota’s. In terms of honey production, these two states generated an almost equal amount of honey in 2006, 10 million pounds each. Besides, Wisconsin registered the lowest number of bee communities, slightly above 50 thousand and produced around 5 million pounds honey, the least among all.

[Written by - Debarati Banerjee]

 

Model Answer 2:

The diagrams delineate how many beehives were there in five US states in 2006 and how much honey these states assembled in the same year. As a general trend, the higher the number of honey-yielding bee colonies in a state, the higher honey it produced and North Dakota was on the top of the list while Wisconsin on the bottom.

It is conspicuous that North Dakota had the highest bee colonies in 2006 which accounted for 350 thousand. From these swarm hives, this state collected the highest amount of honey, over 25 million pounds. Interestingly, South Dakota had the second-largest number of bee colonies, roughly 225 thousand but its honey production was somewhat similar to that of Montana and Minnesota, each of which had approximately 130 thousand beehives. Wisconsin state had just over 50 thousand bee colonies, the lowest among the given states, and its honey production was the least as well, somewhat more than 5 million pounds.

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Rating 4.27 (13 Votes)

Kanika Malik
Hello, could you please assess this description also? Feedback is appreciated. Thank you in advance.

The given charts depict the amount of honey produced (in millions of Pounds) and the number of honey manufacturing colonies in five US states in the year 2006.

It can be clearly seen that the American state which produced the maximum amount of honey also had the highest number of colonies and vice versa. Clearly, North Dakota had the largest number of bee colonies with the maximum honey production in 2006. Meanwhile, beehives in Wisconsin were least in number and so was its honey production.

The bar graph clearly shows that North Dakota produced 350 thousand beehives in 2006. After North Dakota, South Dakota had the maximum number of bee colonies corresponding nearly to 220 thousand beehives. Similarly, in Montana, around 130 thousand bee colonies were present while in Minnesota, it was approximately 1,20,000. Among all these five states, Wisconsin had the least number of colonies constituting nearly to 53 thousand.

Following a similar trend, North Dakota was the highest honey-producing state in the USA with approximately 25 millions of pounds of honey manufactured in the year 2006. Although, South Dakota was the second highest producer, Montana, and Minnesota were also nearly the same as South Dakota. However, Wisconsin contributed the least by manufacturing nearly 5 million pounds worth of honey in the same year.

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IELTS Mentor
Dear Parul,

We are really glad that you have shared your writing sample with us. As you can notice, we have modified your sample answer to make it more useful to others. Two other contributors have already mentioned important tips and we would like to add that you need to mention some figures and numbers to show the changing trends and data comparison. In your original writing, you did not mention the number of beehives and the amount of honey production. You DO NOT need to mention every single number and amount, but not mentioning any number and figure at all is not recommended. Best wishes from us. Take care and have a great day. N.B. Your original writing secured 5.5 band score in our assessment.

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Flora
Hi Parul Bissa, Thank you for sharing your sample answer. In my opinion, it's a band 6.5 level answer. To enhance your score, you need to use more synonyms. You have used 'bee colonies' several times. You could have used bee hives instead! Also, you did not mention that honey production was somewhat related to the number of bee colonies except in South Dakota. However, as the first-timer, your effort was impressive. Carry on!
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Parul
Highly appreciate your valuable comment Manickam. Thank you, I am working on improving it. Good day!
Manickam
Your first attempt is not bad. However, you have to use some synonyms and introduce more sentence variation to secure a band score of 7.0+.
Parul Bissa
This is my first try to write any graph, I need your genuine reviews.

The combination of two bar graphs enumerates data about the number of bee colonies and honey production in 5 different American states measured in thousands and millions of pounds respectively. The samples are collected and analyzed for the year 2006.

As is observed, North Dakota had the highest number of bee colonies and produced the most honey in 2006. Moreover, honey production was correlated to the number of bee colonies in each state except for South Dakota - the more the colonies the more the production.

At a cursory glance, it is observed that North Dakota alone had 350 thousand bee colonies in 2006. The number of bee colonies was nearly half in Montana and Minnesota than that of North Dakota, whereas Wisconsin had the lowest number of these (just over 50 thousand). Finally, South Dakota with its nearly 220 thousand bee colonies stood the second position in the list.

Now considering the honey production, the largest manufacturer of honey was North Dakota with its 26 million pound honey production. On the contrary, Wisconsin did not make a considerable effect on the markets. The remaining three American states - South Dakota, Montana and Minnesota, produced somewhat 10 million pounds of honey, which was less than half of the honey production in North Dakota in 2006.

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